marts 28, 2022
artikler
421 kommentarer

Når parterapi healer

Parterapi i København K healer uforløste konflikter

 

Alle par har mønstre, som vi har brugt til at beskytte os selv. Som en slags forsvarsposition. Det er “bagage”, vi har med os og som har bragt os derhen, hvor vi er nu. Skabt dem vi er. Men nogen gange begrænser disse beskyttelsesmønstre os og skaber konflikt ift. til vores partner. Hvis vi formår at bringe os selv ud af de fastlåste mønstre vi sidder i, kan vi blive mere frigjort og møde vores partner mere åbent. Det er en af de tematikker, som parterapeut Eskil Holten er meget optaget af, når han møder par i terapi i sin praksis i København

“I parterapien arbejder jeg emotionsfokuseret. Dvs. at jeg er meget nysgerrig på at kigge på de uforløste sårbarheder, som tit og ofte ligger bag ved de konflikter, som umiddelbart står tydeligst fremme i parforholdet”, siger Eskil Holten fra København og forsætter: “Det er klart, at lige når vi møder vores elskede, som kastes vi ud i den hæsblæsende forskelsesrus, hvor vi ikke kan få nok af vores partner.” 

Men som stormen lægger sig begynder vi at se mere “klart”, og vi får måske også øje på de sider af vores kærligheds partner som ikke tænder os så meget. Pludselig lægger vi mærke til de sure sokker, opvasken og de andre ting der ligger og flyder.Vi bliver overraskede, og kan næsten også mærke en sorg, fordi vores partner, opleves som en anden.

Man kan sige, at formålet med den terapi jeg laver for par i sidste ende handler om, at vi skal være bedre til at tage ansvar for den måde vi reagerer på. Det kræver en god mængde selvindsigt og egenterapi. Men det er kun igennem vores arbejde med os selv, at vi derefter også kan lære vores partner at kende. Empatien til den anden kommer med empatien til os selv, og her er der ingen genvej. Hvis vi skal opløse de konflikter vi har med os og bringer ind i parforholdet. Det bringer kontakt og samhørighed og styrker samspillet markant.

Læs mere om parterapi hos Eskil Holten: Parterapi København

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